Sunday, December 6, 2009

Championship Saturday

Really couldn't have gone much worse than it did, assuming you agree the BCS makes about as much sense as an animated movie starring Megan Fox.

Cincinnati beat Pitt, meaning the BCS have reason to place them ahead of TCU under any scenario. However, I'm not one of those guys who thinks it's funny to call it the Big Least instead of the Big East, so let's examine the facts. Cincinnati started the season off by beating Rutgers 45-15 and if we.. oh screw it, the Big East sucks. Come on!

Then Alabama beat Florida. Wait, "beat" isn't the right word. The right word is "pantsed." Since they were ranked 2 and 1 respectively, whatever outcome really wasn't going to throw a wrench into the BCS's diabolical schemes. I guess I wanted Florida to win because Alabama disrespected Utah last year before and after the Utes beat them, and like many people, I happen to be fond of Tim Tebow, because shut up, he's a good guy. It takes a big man to cry on live national television with scripture written under your eyes. Or a crazy man.

Nailbiter between Texas and Nebraska. REALLY wanted Nebraska to pull this one out, since it'd make room for TCU to move into the number 2 spot for the championship against Alabama. This would have been very entertaining because it's a win-win. Either the BCS caves and allows a "non-elite" school into the biggest party of all, or they scramble and find a way of shutting TCU out, further fanning the ever-growing flames of opposition to their lucrative, immoral little racket. Nebraska had it all but sealed up after a field goal with about 2 minutes left, until their placekicker thought it would be amusing to belt the ensuing kickoff out of bounds. Seriously, dude. You just watched your other kicker kick the ball between two goalposts 19 feet apart from like 50 yards away. You have 160 feet to work with and YOU don't have 11 savage monsters running at you when you do it. How hard can it be to keep the kick in bounds?

Soooo Texas gets the ball at their 40. Then they complete a pass and Nebraska's tackler got in on what must have been a shared joke between him and the placekicker by horse-collaring Texas' receiver and giving them another 15 yards added on to the end of the catch. So approximately -5 seconds after Nebraska kicks a go-ahead field goal, the Longhorns are themselves in field goal range. Kicker comes out, puts it up, game over.

So it'll be Texas and Alabama in the national championship game. Texas will get crushed. TCU will be given a consolation prize in a BCS bowl against an inferior opponent, and an undefeated Boise State will be conveniently dismissed to a mediocre, anonymous bowl against a mediocre, anonymous opponent. But hey, what do we care about actually finding out who the best team in college football is? There's money to be made here.

And poor Greg Oden. His body is clearly not built for basketball at the professional level. Misses his entire 2007 rookie year to an injury, comes back and performs adequately though never wonderfully the next year missing 1/4th of the season due to nagging health issues, comes back this year, starts out nicely and then freaking Aaron Brooks* blasts him in the kneecap and breaks it 21 games into the season. That just SUCKS. That photo of him laying on the court with a crushed knee is just totally depressing.

So RIP Greg Oden's NBA career. There's a reason you don't take a risk on an injury prone big man. Not at a number one overall pick. You most certainly do NOT leave someone like Kevin Durant on the board while you're at it. You take the sure thing and build yourself into a team that can attract and accomodate a proven, durable big man. Maybe not one with as much upside, but at least one that can give you at least 70 solid games a year for 5-10 years. Not that I'm complaining. It is Portland we're talking about, after all. They can shoot themselves in the face for all I care. Every one of them. Except Greg Oden, poor guy.

* I would like to add that Aaron Brooks looks like Chris Rock. If Chris Rock mated with a Chihuahua. A Chihuahua that itself was the product of an alien... and Chris Rock. What I'm trying to say is that he's a small, funny-looking black man.

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